Grief & Loss Counselling - Brisbane

Types of Grief 

The following are some of the more common types of grieving, however there are many more. Anticipatory sorrow is the experience of loss before the actual loss has occurred. Although there is no "normal" manner to grieve, the term "normal" grieving is used to characterise the common grief that accompanies loss; however, it is not a very helpful term. Complicated grief is defined as prolonged mourning that results in more severe psychological or emotional problems. Disenfranchised sorrow is grief that is felt alone and concealed from people around you. An instance of this would be the unreported miscarriage of a pregnancy.

Common responses to grief

Grief can manifest itself in a variety of ways and affect each person differently. It's possible that you're experiencing sorrow in stages that you're not even conscious of based on your feelings and behaviours.

According to the Department of Health, some of the most common reactions to grief are:

• Feelings of disbelief, confusion, anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, guilt and relief
• Sleep disturbances
• Loss of appetite.

Other common responses to grief can include: 

• Depression
• Loss of concentration
• Mood swings
• Lack of interest in daily life
• Numbness 
• Shock

Grief-related emotions can be difficult to understand and confusing. For example, some may feel happy that a loved one is no longer in suffering, while others may feel regret or shame for not spending more time with each other. Others may feel irrational anger at them even though they had no control over the person's departure.
Dealing with all of these responses could be perplexing, and it could be challenging to carry on with your daily activities. They are in part a normal part of the grieving process, and some problems take time to resolve. If, however, your grief is keeping you from living a meaningful life, you should get help.

 

What is the process of grief? 

The Victorian Government’s Better Health Channel points out that, “grief is a process and not an event.” Grief is a very personal experience, and it’s a non-linear process, but there are common threads and themes that a lot of people experience.  You may have heard of the “five stages of grief”, a theory coined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, that posits that grieving people go through a series of ‘stages’ on the path to acceptance of loss. In Kübler-Ross’s model, the stages are:

• Denial – a refusal to accept that the loss has actually happened
• Anger – anger that the loss has happened to you
• Bargaining – an irrational process of negotiating: “if x then I’ll y”, to bring the person back
• Depression – deep sadness 
• Acceptance – finally, a sense of acceptance that the loss has happened.

These phases could help you understand some of the feelings you experience after a loss, but it's important to keep in mind that this model is outdated, simplistic, and meant to depict people who were dying rather than mourning.

It is now recognised that grief is unpredictable and can manifest itself in a variety of strange ways. You may experience some, all, or none of these stages; in addition, you may experience emotions not included in the model. Basic concepts of sorrow might be harmful since they could make you feel guilty if your experience doesn't fit the template. The corpus of research on the psychology of grief is expanding. There are other, more modern theories of grief.

 

Grief counselling in Brisbane

It can be given by qualified specialists in Brisbane who specialise in grief counselling; these specialists might be psychologists, generalist counsellors with experience in the field, or they might just be grief counsellors. There are lots of resources and networks available to help you get through your loss. Life Supports provides access to a network of licensed counsellors, including those with years of client experience and specialised training in bereavement and grief. Although not always required, having someone with specific training in grieving and loss can be helpful as they have a wealth of knowledge on how to tailor treatment for each individual.

What does grief counselling look like? 

 

The particulars of grief counselling will depend on the client's needs as well as the practitioner's preferences and abilities. There are numerous useful techniques. Grief counsellors will often ask you to talk about both your feelings and the life and death of the deceased. Grief counselling usually requires at some time to face the past head-on. Counsellors for bereavement can help you in many ways.

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – is a type of therapy that focuses on reframing issues and emotions, so that they become manageable. CBT for grief is designed to help you reconcile the loss of a loved one with a new life without them. Some techniques involved in CBT include: 

• Graded exposure to avoided or feared situations – exposure over time, in a gentle and controlled manner, to confronting or challenging thoughts
• Increasing pleasant events – cultivating moments of joy, happiness or simple contentment in life
• Challenging unhelpful or irrational thoughts (termed ‘maladaptive’ in practice) –developing responses to complicated or unhelpful thoughts like anger, guilt or self-hatred.

Other therapies and methods 

 

Other therapies and methods can include:

• Traditional talk therapy, which means building a trusted relationship with a counsellor and over time discussing your emotions and experiences of grief with that person
• Complicated grief therapy is an evidence-based psychotherapy model designed to address the symptoms of ‘complicated’ grief, i.e. grief in which emotions are bound up in conflicting, difficult and counter-productive thoughts and feelings. It has roots in CBT and prolonged exposure therapy (the repeated telling of the story of loss), as well as focusing on personal goals
• Acceptance and commitment therapy is a type of therapy founded on the principle that suffering is a core part of the human experience, and focuses on reconfiguring your relationship with suffering so that you can come to accept it, and find some meaning and contentment while within it.

 

How can I cope with grief?

 

It's a fact of life that everyone experiences grief, but that doesn't make it any easier. Among other things, a grief counsellor will tell you that grief is something you cannot totally overcome. However, you can use coping strategies to control the highs and lows that come with experiencing a deeply felt loss.

 

Grief Counselling

 

One of the best things you can do to assist the mourning process is to get counselling. Counsellors and therapists with the necessary training can offer professional mental health treatment to help people process loss and reclaim their quality of life. Research backs up this strategy. Grief counsellors offer their services in a number of ways, including:

• Working through pain 
• Coming up with practical strategies to manage suffering
• Reframing memories so that you can think about your loved one without it being unbearable
• Learning to enjoy life again

Life Supports has a number of highly trained, qualified counsellors and therapists who specify in grief and loss. They’ll work with you to come up with a strategy to help you cope, build resilience and even maybe find a little joy in life.

At home

There are also steps you can take in your personal life to help you cope with grief and loss:

• Acknowledge your suffering
• Seek support from friends and family 
• Support your mental health by keeping your physical health in check – exercising, eating healthy foods, and keeping up a solid sleep schedule if you can
• Pay attention to your feelings – notice them, sit with them, and if you feel as though what you’re experiencing is moving beyond grief towards depression or otherwise unmanageable emotions, seek professional help.

Finding meaning in loss

Although it may seem impossible, many psychologists who have written about the topic contend that finding meaning in trauma and loss is an important and constructive stage in the grieving process. Bereavement can improve your empathy, help you assist others more, and fortify your emotional resilience. It can also teach you more about yourself and other people. It may force you to deal with deeper difficulties in your life, which will result in a more meaningful way of living.

Because love and care are wonderful and lovely, grief is strong and agonising. A person's perspective on life is altered by grief, which also imparts wisdom, reverence for life, and a deeper understanding of what it means to be a fully connected human. Through grief counselling, we may prioritise the voice and memories of the past while preserving our ability to move forward. This is not to say that you should try to make sense of your loss.

If you’re suffering a loss, you may benefit from professional mental health support. At Life Supports, we have plenty of caring, professional counsellors and therapists in Brisbane who will help you to work through your suffering in a constructive, healthy way.

For appointments or enquiries, please call 1300 735 030 or leave us an email via our contact page.