Types of Grief 


The following delineates some of the most prevalent forms of bereavement, although numerous others exist. Anticipatory grief refers to the emotional response to loss prior to its actual occurrence. While there is no universally accepted normative approach to grieving, the term "normal" grieving is often used to describe the typical experience of grief following a loss; however, this term is limited in its usefulness. Complicated grief is defined as an extended period of mourning that results in more severe psychological or emotional issues. Disenfranchised grief pertains to the experience of mourning in isolation, concealed from others. An example of this is the unreported termination of a pregnancy.

Common responses to grief


Grief can present itself in various forms and impact individuals in different manners. It is plausible that one may be undergoing stages of mourning unbeknownst to them, based on their emotions and actions.

According to the Department of Health, some of the most common reactions to grief are:

  • Feelings of disbelief, confusion, anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, guilt and relief
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Loss of appetite.

Other common responses to grief can include: 

  • Depression
  • Loss of concentration
  • Mood swings
  • Lack of interest in daily life
  • Numbness 
  • Shock

The experience of emotions related to grief can present as difficult to comprehend. For instance, some individuals may perceive happiness in response to the alleviation of suffering experienced by a loved one, whereas others may feel regret for not having allotted more quality time together. In some cases, irrational anger directed towards the individual may manifest, despite their lack of agency in the circumstances leading to their departure.


Navigating these emotional responses can be puzzling and may impede one's ability to engage in daily routines. However, it is important to recognize that these reactions are a natural aspect of the grieving process, and certain issues may require a considerable period of time to resolve. Should grief prove to be a hindrance in leading a fulfilling life, it is advised to seek assistance.

What is the process of grief? 


The Victorian Government’s Better Health Channel points out that, “grief is a process and not an event.” Grief is a very personal experience, and it’s a non-linear process, but there are common threads and themes that a lot of people experience.  You may have heard of the “five stages of grief”, a theory coined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, that posits that grieving people go through a series of ‘stages’ on the path to acceptance of loss. In Kübler-Ross’s model, the stages are:

  • Denial – a refusal to accept that the loss has actually happened
  • Anger – anger that the loss has happened to you
  • Bargaining – an irrational process of negotiating: “if x then I’ll y”, to bring the person back
  • Depression – deep sadness 
  • Acceptance – finally, a sense of acceptance that the loss has happened.

These stages can serve as a means of understanding the emotions that may arise as a result of a loss, however, it is important to note that this model is considered outdated. It was intended to depict the emotions experienced by individuals who were in the process of dying, rather than those who were mourning.

It is recognized that grief is an unpredictable process and can manifest itself in a myriad of ways. You may encounter the aforementioned stages, and it is also possible that you may experience a range of emotions that are not accounted for in this model. The traditional concept of sorrow can be detrimental, as it may create feelings of guilt does not align with the framework.

Furthermore, the field of research pertaining to the psychology of grief is expanding, leading to the development of more contemporary theories on the subject.

 

Grief counselling in Melbourne


It can be administered by proficient experts in Melbourne who specialise in the provision of grief counselling. These professionals may include psychologists, generalist counsellors with significant experience in the relevant field, or specifically trained grief counsellors. There are resources and networks available to assist individuals in coping with their loss. Life Supports offers access to a network of licensed counsellors, including those with specialised training in bereavement and grief. While not mandatory, engaging the services of a trained specialist in grieving and loss can prove beneficial as they possess a wealth of knowledge in customising treatment for each individual.

What does grief counselling look like? 

 

The methodology of grief counselling depends upon the individual needs of the client, as well as the capabilities of the practitioner. Various effective techniques are available for use. Grief counsellors will frequently prompt clients to discuss their emotions, as well as the life and passing of the departed. Confronting the past directly is typically an integral aspect of grief counselling. Bereavement counsellors offer a range of assistance to individuals in need.

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

 

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – is a type of therapy that focuses on reframing issues and emotions, so that they become manageable. CBT for grief is designed to help you reconcile the loss of a loved one with a new life without them. Some techniques involved in CBT include: 

  • Graded exposure to avoided or feared situations – exposure over time, in a gentle and controlled manner, to confronting or challenging thoughts
  • Increasing pleasant events – cultivating moments of joy, happiness or simple contentment in life
  • Challenging unhelpful or irrational thoughts (termed ‘maladaptive’ in practice) –developing responses to complicated or unhelpful thoughts like anger, guilt or self-hatred.

Other therapies and methods 

 

Other therapies and methods can include:

  • Traditional talk therapy, which means building a trusted relationship with a counsellor and over time discussing your emotions and experiences of grief with that person
  • Complicated grief therapy is an evidence-based psychotherapy model designed to address the symptoms of ‘complicated’ grief, i.e. grief in which emotions are bound up in conflicting, difficult and counter-productive thoughts and feelings. It has roots in CBT and prolonged exposure therapy (the repeated telling of the story of loss), as well as focusing on personal goals
  • Acceptance and commitment therapy is a type of therapy founded on the principle that suffering is a core part of the human experience, and focuses on reconfiguring your relationship with suffering so that you can come to accept it, and find some meaning and contentment while within it.

 

How can I cope with grief?

 

It is a reality that every individual will encounter grief at some point in their life. Despite its inevitability, coping with grief remains an arduous task. A grief counsellor would assert that grief is an indelible emotion that cannot be entirely surmounted. Nevertheless, one can employ coping mechanisms to manage the fluctuating intensity of emotions that accompany the profound sense of loss.

 

Grief Counselling

 

One of the most effective measures in helping alleviate the grieving process is to seek counselling. Trained counsellors and therapists possess the expertise to provide professional mental health treatment that aids individuals in coping with loss and regaining their overall well-being. Empirical studies support this approach. Grief counsellors extend their services through various means, including:

  • Working through pain 
  • Coming up with practical strategies to manage suffering
  • Reframing memories so that you can think about your loved one without it being unbearable
  • Learning to enjoy life again

Life Supports has a number of highly trained, qualified counsellors and therapists who specify in grief and loss. They’ll work with you to come up with a strategy to help you cope, build resilience and even maybe find a little joy in life.

 

At home

 

There are also steps you can take in your personal life to help you cope with grief and loss:

  • Acknowledge your suffering
  • Seek support from friends and family 
  • Support your mental health by keeping your physical health in check – exercising, eating healthy foods, and keeping up a solid sleep schedule if you can
  • Pay attention to your feelings – notice them, sit with them, and if you feel as though what you’re experiencing is moving beyond grief towards depression or otherwise unmanageable emotions, seek professional help.

Finding meaning in loss

 

Despite seeming implausible, psychologists have argued that the act of finding significance in times of trauma and loss is a productive aspect of the grieving process. Bereavement has the potential to enhance one's ability to empathise, aid others, and increase emotional fortitude. Furthermore, it can foster self-discovery and a deeper understanding of others. By compelling individuals to confront underlying challenges, it leads to a more purposeful and fulfilling existence.

The combination of love and care, alongside the strong and agonising feeling of grief, hold significance. Grief has the power to alter an individual's outlook on life, providing them with wisdom, a greater appreciation for life, and a deeper comprehension of what it means to be truly connected as a human being. Through the process of grief counselling, we can prioritise the voices and memories of the past while also maintaining our capacity to progress.

Grief counselling in Melbourne at Life Supports

If you’re suffering a loss, you may benefit from professional mental health support. At Life Supports, we have plenty of caring, professional counsellors and therapists in Melbourne who will help you to work through your suffering in a constructive, healthy way.

For appointments or enquiries, please call 1300 735 030 or leave us an email via our contact page.

Find Grief Counsellors in Melbourne

Grief Counselling FAQs

The process of grieving does not have an established time. It is a deeply individualised experience. There is no specific timeframe for when one will begin to experience improvement or relief. Therefore, it is vital to prioritise understanding and, to a certain extent, coming to terms with one's circumstances. Acceptance is commonly seen as the first stage in the journey towards an improved state.

Although understanding the stages of grief can be helpful in navigating the complex emotions that come with loss and death, it's important to remember that your experience may not fit perfectly into that framework. Your feelings cannot be forced to fit into a certain blueprint, and that is something a counsellor will emphasise. It's crucial to accept that you do not have control over your experience or how you feel.

By stopping the struggle and allowing your emotions to be, you may discover that they become easier to manage and process.

Grief counselling has been known to offer effective assistance to individuals experiencing any type of loss. It is a recommended avenue for processing and coping with such losses. Nevertheless, there exists certain indications that may suggest a heightened requirement for professional support:

  • Numbness or dissociation
  • Overwhelming depression
  • Overwhelming physical symptoms like fatigue or loss of appetite
  • Irrational anger
  • Withdrawing from loved ones
  • Intense mood swings
  • Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
  • An extended period of time where you can’t seem to get past your grief.

Grief counselling is one effective approach for coping with loss and moving towards acceptance. Although it may not entirely resolve or cure the experienced loss, grief counselling can provide individuals with the essential skills to augment inner fortitude and adaptability, and ultimately discover moments of happiness and satisfaction in life.

Loss can be one of the hardest things we face in life. Whether it's losing a loved one, a relationship, or an opportunity, it can leave us feeling like a piece of us is missing.

This is where grief creeps in, a powerful emotion that takes on different forms for each of us. Some may experience intense grief over a lost job, but others may not understand the depth of this pain. It can be difficult when others brush off our feelings, leaving us to navigate our grief alone.